When Branislav Ivanovic ruthlessly smashed one of his limbs into the gaping, innocent maw of Luis Suarez back in April of this year, few of us could barely believe the character assassination that followed. Not of Chelsea’s detestable, cowardly Serb, READ MORE
Author: Ewan Oliver
Try getting into the top four now, you fucking stupid bastards.
Oil money, eh? What a pisser. Since 2003, Roman’s roubles have helped lure a top four finish back to his place for some Huey Lewis and surgical butchering, while elsewhere Manchester City recently donned a pair of Versace daps and READ MORE
Oh, you said something cuntish? How terribly distressing for me.
Let’s be honest, everyone loves a good cunt, and a good cunt, these days, is hard to find. I think Feargal Sharkey even wrote a song about it once. You see, deep down, we all appreciate a spot-on piece of READ MORE
Who does your tampons?
Have you seen that Brendan Rodgers? I can’t stand him, that Brendan Rodgers. Did you see him putting up the old ‘This Is Anfield’ sign? He’s stood there, right, under the old ‘This Is Anfield’ sign, with a fucking hammer. READ MORE
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding
For Liverpool fans, a successful transfer window is about as rare as finding a salad in Charlie Adam’s fridge. The club’s innate ability at thunderspunking funds up a wall was once again showcased during the summer, when they lobbed twenty READ MORE
Q&A with Guillem Balague
Guillem Balague. The man. The legend. An Adonis of football punditry. He’s been around forever, hasn’t he? He’s written several bestsellers, he’s best friends with Rafa, and he’s got a tan Pat Bateman would kill for. He must be used READ MORE
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Late last month, the FA announced that as a mark of respect and remembrance for those who lost their lives at Hillsborough, all games taking place on the weekend beginning April 11th would kick off some seven minutes later than READ MORE